I been complainin a lot lately. Wife done got tired of it I suppose. She done got me offin my butt and tole me I need to stop bellyachin!

See, I decided my TV is getting too dark to watch.
Gettin fuzzy too. Can't read the scores on the football games!
I been complinin about it fer a year or so says she. It has been going down hill for a long time now. I once says I’d like ta have one o’ dem Big Uns ta watch on. Jes thinkin out loud ya know. She musta heared me a thinkin.

Wife showed me one o’ dem new sale books what come in da paper!

Found a great deal - a sale for a big screen HDTV. Great price. Went to look at it. It sucked!

Wife says it don't have all dem new features like dis one next to it.

Hunnerds o' new TVs in this place. All kinds. All sizes.

Screwed up - got to lookin at 'em. Screwed up again - kept lookin at 'em.
Found a big un!

Found a bigger un!

Found a giant un!

I wuz confused. I was ready ta go home!

Screwed up even more - took da wife with me on dis trip! Did I ferget dat part? Look at em sum more Hon says she!

Read them prices at the botton on the floor! Nearly passed out. Wow!
Dang - bunches o' money fer them thangs!

Went back and looked at a smaller un.

Then at a middle sized un.

Wife liked da middle sized un real good. Said I oughter have that un. I done deserved it says she.

I bought it!

They gonna deliver it! Fer $49.00 they fergot ta tell me 'bout.

Gonna uncrate er an put er together fer me too. Fer $29.00 they fergot ta tell me 'bout.

Gotta have dat extended gar-roan-tee says the wife cause the TV we got done broke down too quick.
This un costs way too much not to have dat extra protectshun.

Nuther 3 hunnered dollars.

Taxes too - couple more hunnered.

What ya gonna set it on Darlin says she? I says on da stand whut we already got.
Nope. Won't fit there says she.

New stand 3 hunnered more!

Gonna come bring it in a day or two. Sure they will. Gonna set it all up.
Paid them dat money. Writ dem check rat dere rat now! She woulda bought ‘em fer me but she forgot her checkin book says she. I betcha she pays me back real soon tho! Soon as she finds dat checkin book o’ hers.

Wife says she deserved dinner out now. ????? HUH?

I am in shock - I done learned what sticker shock is now.  I couda stuck my finger in a light socket and not been dis shocked!

Went ta dinner. Sure cost a lot ta eat out!

Came home! Gotta have me some bourbon now ta ease my pain!

Had a couple!

Wife says I bet ole so and so can fix that old TV! ???

We can get nuther converter and move dat rat in my room! Ya got one in yer room says she!

Now I coulda got me a new TV fer bout 6 hunnered dat would have done jes fine.

Thought bout dat fer a few weeks now fore I took dis trip.
Wife showed me dat sale book yesterday.

You need a new TV sos ya can see dem foolball games better she says da other day.
Wonder why she showed me dat advertizin book yesterday. Tole me I deserved a new TV she did.
? ? ?
Now I gotta move my stereo outa the den. Won't fit there no more says she. Don't know where dat is gonna fit now.

Why do I need a 5 foot wide TV?

X

Wife done tole me cuz I deserved one she did.

But we needs ta move it over a bit so she don't have ta turn her head no more ta watch TV

I am afraid ta ask her how we gonna live without dat surroundin sound she likes so much.

I am done afraid ta ask her how we gonna live without dat surroundin sound she likes so much. I figure she will tell me I done deserved a newer one dan dat ole one what don't fit here no more.
 
She shore is good ta me!

Just had me a couple more bourbons an a bit o’ branch water..



Wife said shes gonna like watchin her movies real good on dat new TV?? HUH??

Says dat ole surroundin sound stereo will fit jes fine on dat big wall in her room too.

I been a thinkin bout this shoppin stuff. I ain't near good enuff ta be doin dis ya know??

Now I know I done tole da wife a while back I would like a new TV. I don't member dat 5 foot wide part?

So ther ya go! Got er done.
Now I'm a gonna get ta watch dem football games on a brand new 3 thousand dollar TV n stand. Sure is gonna be fun!



I keep memberin back in my head sumpin bout a $2,000.00 cleanin machine I woke up ta sign fer a few years back.

Barely member dat but we got one!
It ain't no vacuum it's a cleanin machine!
Never did figger out how we got that dang thang?

Wife is sure good to me.

Lets me use dat cleanin machine too. She is a good woman!

Havin me sum more bourbon!

Wife says I need ta relax a bit so go rat ahead and have sum more.

She is a lookin fer dat sales book again.

It had a small surroundin sound machine in dere dat jes might fit on da walls. Newer n smaller but gooder sound says she.
I deserves one says she!

Now I gots me a bunch o’ dem DVD thangys folks done give ta me.

My DVD player done broke the second time I turned
it on a couple o’ years ago.

Dint care. I plays em on my puter anyhow!

I deserves a new one fer dis new 5 foot TV dats a comin says she. Sos da gkids and us can watch dem cartooneys on da new Big Un.

Says I can watch da football games dat I can record on da Big Un too. They will hooked it all up fer me ifin I got it all today fore dey comes says she!

I Got it!

Looks like I’m a gonna go shoppin agin real soon.

She shore is good ta me! She is a good woman! She shore is good ta me! She is a good woman! I jes dont know whut I done ta deserve her, I really dont. She shore is a takin gud care o’ me lately! I jes don know whut I done ta make her be soo gud ta me!

Now if dem dam Cowboys wud jes win a game er two I wud be real happy watchin my new Big Un!!

Wife says I needs ta git sum new glasses too. I gotta quit readin dem paper wit dat magnifyin glass I be usin ever mornin. See – I tole ya shes a gud woman. Shes takin real gud care o’ me rat now!

I’m a man! I'm a happy man!