I went to my Husbands Grandmother's 86th birthday party this past weekend. She is in a Nursing Home. A very good one. It was a nice party for her with family and some of the residents of the home. Cake and ice-cream. Cards, gifts and balloons. Coffee and juice. The nursing staff set up one of the many rooms they have available for the residents to gather in for coffee or games or what have you.

One of the staff members helped out with getting the residents there and getting our beverages and stuff. I don't know her name so I'll call her Angel.... She truly seemed like one. I watched her alot. Her interaction with the residents was awesome! She took time for each... to make sure they had what they needed... especially 'Gramma'. I overheard some residents talking to her about things she's done there... like dancing with a man who recently passed away.... how important it was for him to have someone to dance with at that time of his life.... things like that... and I thank her for it all. She though, is not my real reason for writing.

Gramma... and all the residents of all the nursing homes everywhere, is my reason. I watch people. I listen.. I learn. Maybe I'm just nosey...  I dunno. But I watched everyone at this party. I guess what hit me was the 'longing' in some of their eyes. One lady, I'll call her 'Elly'.... all she wanted, the whole time we were there, is for my sister-in-law to take her home... to Ely MN. she followed her around... most people I noticed, looked away.. or avoided her. I watched her. So sad! She wanted to go home so very bad!! My heart broke for her. She had nobody.

Grampa... he isn't in the nursing home .... he goes there every day to be with his wife! He is walking with a cane... in pain alot... but he goes. He does everything he can to help his wife. Sometimes, he forgets his own needs and someone has to make him sit down... rest... eat... etc.

A table of a couple of men.... I could hear them talking. They were discussing who was 'left' out of their crowd. Didn't sound like many. These people reminisced... in their own little ways. Some may have thought they were senile.... or crazy... or whatever they thought. I could see the loneliness... the longing.

One old lady sat eating her cake and ice-cream and was sneaking bits of cake to grammas poodle that Gramps brought in to see her! It was sooooo cute! I was told... she kept sticking her head in the door before the party started, to see if they were ready for her yet! GRIN!

Gramma!!!!  She was the Belle of the Ball! It was her day... and she KNEW IT! Gramma doesn't remember things too well anymore. She is 86 and has buried 4 of her 5 children... mostly, she doesn't remember  they are gone. It's hard to hear her ask about them.  Someone made up a collage for her... of pictures from the time she was a baby till a few years ago. Her family, her pets... her friends. I watched her look at them. Funny how she seemed to know them all. The past is more real than the present. Makes me wonder if the present holds too much pain to face.

When she got tired.... I asked her if she would like to go to her room to lie down. She looked at me and said... I have no room here. I want to go home and rest. People looked away... rolled their eyes. I looked at her.. in her eyes.. and she winked at me! Gramma knows... when she wants to! Gramma didn't want to lie down. She had GUESTS! We walked with her to her room... set up her flowers, balloons... and said goodbye.  She sat in her wheel chair.. so regal, with her hands in her lap and her poodle in her arms... thanking each one of us.... one by one.. for coming, and asking us to come back.

I guess the ones who see her regularly, her husband... daughter in law.. feel the way to leave her is just GO... and make it fast! They shooed us all out.... and made us hurry down the hall before Gramma got out of her room! I didn't like that.... but I guess she tries to come with.... wants to go home. I looked back.... just before we went out the door. all I could see was about a third of her wheel on her chair... just outside the door...

So many of these wonderful people in these places have no one to visit them. They are put there "where they are safe" and they are forgotten. I guess what this is mainly about... is for me to ask you... if you have someone in a nursing home... Please take time to go see them... and when u do, look into their eyes when you talk to them. You will see a lot more than you think!!!! If you don't have anyone there... so what? Go anyway. Read to someone.... take a trusted pet! Ohhh they love that! Take some books for them... or anything you think YOU would like if you were there! They still have needs.... and wants.... and things to share...

Thanks...
Kat