Minnesota

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Hehehe... I'm sure you true Minnesotans will
appreciate this one!!!!!

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What If Microsofts Home Office Was In Minnesota?

Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and nothing much is biting, and the conversation chances onto the topic of birth control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?", And Ole says "Oh we use the condom and ice cube method". And Sven says "I've never heard of that Ole, how's it work?" and Ole says "Oh, well, when I go to put the condom on, I put a couple of those little ice cubes in first." And Sven says "Yimminy Ole, isn't that awfully cold?" And Ole says "Yah sure it is Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down."

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM NORTHERN MINNESOTA WHEN...

1. You only own three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes at "The Lake" have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
5. You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
6. You view "Grumpy Old Men" as a documentary..
7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled in with snow.
8. You think everyone from "The Cities" has an accent.
9. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
10. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
11. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page but requires 6 pages for hockey.
12. At least twenty times a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat / fish processing plant.
13. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun. And you understand why the mosquito is called the "state bird".
14. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
15. The start of deer season is a national holiday.
16. You head south to go to your lake cabin.
17. You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
18. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
19. The mayor greets you by your first name on the street.
20. There is only one shopping plaza in town and it's really just a grocery store.
21. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a firetruck.
22. The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo it's venison sausage-making.
23. You find 40-below a "little chilly".
24. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer in winter, beer cooler in the spring and fall.
25. You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorrel boots.
26. You can play snowpacked street (more likely road) hockey on skates.
27. You can tell the difference between a chipmunk and a squirrel from 300 yards away.
28. Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great aerobic working that city folks pay $50 an hour to get.
29. You know the 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Under Construction.
30. You still lament the fact that Boone and Erickson aren't on the air anymore at 5am while you're doing chores.
31. Even though there's over 10,000 lakes in the state, you pretend to know the name and secret fishing spots on each one when you encounter a tourist.
32. You have a secret stash of Hamms beer in the basement.
33. You actually "get" these jokes, and forward them to all your friends!

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What would a Minnesotan do if an Iowan
threw a grenade at them?
Pick it up, Pull the pin, and throw it back!