The story bout my air conditioner!

Written by: Bubba Stan - the Sweet P

Friday night - Our AC unit is a leakin water all over the place.
Carpets are really wet.

Tuesday now - The A/C story continues –

Four days after the problem started. Repairman was gonna be out Monday at
2:00PM. Yeah sure! They arrived around five PM.

They tore it apart. I done told them the pump’s out. Screechin n rattlin stopped,
had to be the pump. They scratched their heads, cussed a bit. How did this thing
get so messed up, and still work. Well sorta it did??

It’s gonna cost about $275.00 in labor to replace the pump.

Ole butthead ain’t buyin this! It ain’t gonna fly in his book. That dog just won’t
hunt! I gotta do something. It is around 100 degrees. I ain’t gonna be here with the
AC off. I ain’t that dumb.

Gotta make a temporary drain. I find me a big pan to catch the water – dirty water.
Flat enough to go under the drain pipe where the pump was and big enough to hold
a lot of water. It holds a great big cake don’t it?

Wife ended that program real quick. Too shiny or something like that! Go find
something old. I did!

Got down on my belly to put the pan under the drain. Got that done!
Hour later dang pan was running over. This ain’t gonna work! Sure is hard to crawl
around on my belly these days.

Still vacuuming up water from the carpets. Three and a half days of that now!
Flash! I got it. Go outside and get a garden hose. Did that!

Gotta find something to whack the end off with. Burned my feet on the driveway.
Did I tell ya that it’s hot here? Whacked the end right off. Wow a bit harder to "snap"
together than I thought. There goes some more of my hide off a knuckle. Got it together.
Now where to run the hose. I just run the hose out the front door. Latch the chain
latch and go to bed.

Woke up. Vacuuming again.

Tuesday morning Carpet is still mostly dry. But it squishes when you walk on it.
Pad! I forgot the carpet pad. Wet – wet –wet. Bright idea! Towels - walk on them
with my heels, squish the water right up into the towels.
Dang if it didn’t work! I’m impressed with myself now!

Hose is doing fine. Carpets almost completely dry to walk on.

Different A/C repairman shows up. Butthead called.

I got to tell butthead we are moving! Wow! He is on his way over to get this
thing fixed right up for us! Butthead never shows up. I shouldn’t have told him I had
his 30 days notice ready to sign. Guess I will have to mail it now!

Repairman says it is dead. Needs a new A/C. Now that’s a news flash! How much?
Bout 1700 dollars says he. I start giggling a lot. Ole butthead is gonna croak!

AC man calling butthead. I wish I could hear that conversation. AC man takes his
new pump and starts out of the door. Says butthead is calling the owners.
I am in stitches, giggling so hard.

Three hours later, butthead is calling. Seems as though the owners have
some "Home Owners Insurance/maintenance" thing. They will call him or me within
2 hours and be here to repair or replace anything. A $50.00 check it out fee.
(notice the HIM or me part here) I’m waiting. Butthead is not gonna pay the $50.00 fee.
He’s gonna call and want me to pay it.

A maintenance company called within two hours. Christie, a nice lady, said, technician
will be out Thursday between 10 and 2. I am giggling a lot.

Christie is nice and does not ask if I am mentally deranged. She kindly explains that
the technician will only be inspecting the problem to determine what to tell the
"Home Owners Insurance/maintenance" folks what really needs to be done.
Then those folks will have to get with the owners, to negotiate things.

I am belly laughing now. It’s a loud roar with a lot of snorts and wheezing going on,
and Christie is very sweet and don’t ask my mental condition. Sir do you understand
what I am telling you? More snorts and giggles. I finally manage to say, yep I do!
I finally get my breath back and ask her "Ok when will I get a new A/C unit
installed, bout 3 weeks?

She said goodness no. We can have an installer out there the next Monday or Tuesday.
I am about to giggle again. I said OK and thank you very much. Ole butthead has
mis-understood something here?

Christie wants to know who is gonna pay the $50.00 fee. I am snorting and giggling again.
And Christie did not even hang up on me. I managed to tell her butthead’s name and
phone numbers.

She said I was a very pleasant person. I giggled thank you and awaited ole buttheads’ call.
We got it. Yep can I pay the $50.00 and deduct it from our check.

I’m still giggling. My sides are sore and my handy homemade drainage system is working
fine. Carpet is dry. Hose is inside now draining into the bathtub. I can lock the front
door again. Should drain OK.

Still trying to stop giggling. I am just hoping that old butthead is not the one that has
to do the negotiating or I may never see the new AC unit.

We got all of the ceiling fans going, a fan in the office, a fan in each of the bedrooms,
a fan in the den, clip on fans from somewhere, and my fan on a stand fan going somewhere.

And did I tell you that the A/C unit is not working very well?

We are moving, have y’all heard!

It’s hot down round here. But the carpet is dry, so far. Wish I could cross my old sore fingers.
I got it under control here, I’m a man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The rest of the story!

It’s Monday. Butthead calls – wants to know how the new A/C is doin???
I think he’s brain dead from the heat.

It is now Thursday - - tomorrow will be two weeks. Must be some kinda negotiations
goin on. A/C still ain’t fixed.

Record heat yesterday – 109 degrees?

I don’t care. I’m movin!! I showed him didn’t I. Whoever moves in here is gonna have
a brand new A/C unit. But Butthead ain’t gonna fix that garage opener I bet.

Three weeks now and I still got a garden hose runnin to the bathroom
to drain the water. Tryin to move stuff out of here.

Well this story could drag on forever it seems. A/C still not fixed in this old place.
So I’m gonna let this story die rat here!

Did I tell ya we are movin rat now?? But that is another story in the makin!

~Bubba~

The New House