I was snowed in at the airport Late last Christmas Eve

They finally cleared the runway and said the plane could leave

I couldn't call my wife to tell her I was comin' home

When I opened up the door, she wasn't home alone

She and Bob the mailman, were naked on the floor

And it was very plain to see what they were naked for

She asked me to forgive her

And this was my reply

LET'S STAND UNDER THE MISTLETOE

AND YOU CAN KISS MY ASS GOODBYE

You can kiss my ass goodbye

SMOOCH IT!

Baby don't be shy

Light the Christmas tree

OH YEAH! Then pucker up for me

You can skip the pumpkin pie

Give my derrieaire a try

LET'S STAND UNDER THE MISTLETOE

AND YOU CAN KISS MY ASS GOODBYE

Now every day is Christmas I'm jolly as can be

Your girlfriend's got big knockers

And you won the lottery

So if your wife is cheating, don't bother asking why

just say

LET'S STAND UNDER THE MISTLETOE

AND YOU CAN KISS MY ASS GOODBYE

You can kiss my ass good bye

Lick your lips

Baby, don't you cry

Oh, kiss me one more time

Where the sun don't shine

Baby hold your head up high

Here's mud in your eye

Oj just pucker up and let one go

I'll drop my drawers and bend down low

LET'S STAND UNDER THE MISTLETOE

AND YOU CAN KISS MY ASS GOODBYE

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11/28/06