Dear
Santa,
You might be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I
would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of
the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle,
an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. Not only was
I the first in my class, but also I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going
to lie to you; there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me,
with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and my neighbors. I would go on errands,
and even help the elderly across the street. There was virtually nothing within
reach that I would not do for humanity.
What balls do you have leaving me a $%#*&@# yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair
of socks? What the hell were you thinking, you fat #%$*&@#, that you've taken me for a
sucker the whole &%#*&@# year to come out with some #%#*&@# like this
under the tree? As if you hadn't #%#*&@# me enough, you gave that little faggot
across the street so many toys he can't even walk into his house.
Don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat #%#*&@# down my chimney next year.
I'll #%#*&@# you up!!!! I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer
and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the #%#*&@# North Pole, just like
what I have to do now since you didn't get me that #%#*&@# bike.
#%#*& @# SANTA! Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you FAT
#%#*&@#
Sincerely,
Little Johnny |